


Strength in Pain

by collectiveobsession



Series: Dust to Dust [1]
Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types
Genre: Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Headaches & Migraines, Mass Effect 3: Leviathan, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-08
Updated: 2019-09-08
Packaged: 2020-11-02 00:27:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,590
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20559464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/collectiveobsession/pseuds/collectiveobsession
Summary: Her body language is not telling of an outer wound, Kaidan thinks, but she still looks pained. His anger begins to ebb; he is still cross with her for running into the Leviathan lair, but she is definitely in pain. However, all of the symptoms he’s seeing in her are familiar to him. Too familiar.





	Strength in Pain

“Hell of a headache.” Shepard’s attempt at a triumphant grin is tight and her eyes squint against the blinking interior lights of the shuttle. Kaidan remains stone-faced, taking inventory of her, though she’s already confirmed that she’s in one piece. As if he’d ever believe that. Shepard would say she’s fine even if she was bleeding out. Kaidan would know. He’s seen it before.

“Never do that again.” He says, fixing her with a hard stare, refusing to back down. She stays silent, eyes closing as she leans her head back on the bench seat.

Her body language is not telling of an outer wound, Kaidan thinks, but she still looks pained. His anger begins to ebb; he is still cross with her for running into the Leviathan lair in an ancient Triton, but she is definitely in pain. However, all of the symptoms he’s seeing in her are familiar to him. Too familiar.

Shepard looks pale: her tanned skin looks nearly translucent in the bluish lighting of the shuttle. Her eyes are shut, but he sees a definite crease between her brows. When Kaidan steps closer to her and she cracks an eye at him, he sees her squint again against the lights. She leans forward suddenly, leaning her elbows on her knees and cradling her head in her hands. From his vantage point, Kaidan can see that she is shaking. He nods to himself in confirmation: definitely a migraine.

“Shepard,” He says cautiously, taking another step closer. When she doesn’t respond, he sits beside her, unsure of whether or not to touch her, “Cora?” He tries again, softer this time.

She shifts and digs the heels of her hands into her eyes, gritting her teeth against the pain.

“More than a headache.” She grinds out, and Kaidan can hear her trying to even her breathing.

They are close enough to the Normandy that Kaidan feels it is safe to begin removing her armor. He knows how she is feeling right now and knows that the heavy weight of her hard suit is not helping. She doesn’t fight him, just allows him to move her body to get the pieces off and keeps her eyes closed. Sweat collects at her temples and her shaking gets worse. He brings a hand to the back of her neck and gently caresses the skin with his fingertips, trying to reassure as well as ground her. He notices how tight her military-grade chignon seems on her scalp and begins the process of removing the pins, allowing her dark blonde hair to loosen and fall around her shoulders.

When they finally dock, he can sense her hesitation to move. She can barely see, much less walk, but Kaidan knows she’d rather stumble through the CIC than let him carry her. He briefly considers having Chakwas meet them with a stretcher, but knows Cora would hate that even more

“I’ve got you.” He says, holding a hand out to help her up from the bench. She swallows gives one slow nod, preparing herself. Shepard stands, sways a bit and Kaidan wraps an arm around her waist to steady her, urging her to put an arm around his neck. Kaidan empathizes, knowing the room must be spinning and her head must be pounding. From the way she’s been digging her hands into her eyes, the pain must be centralized behind them. He gives her a few seconds to adjust to their standing position and waits for her go ahead.

“I think I’m going to vomit.” She says and takes a sharp breath through her nostrils.

“Here or in general?” He needs to know how long he’s got to get her to the infirmary. She gives a huff, nearly a laugh or maybe a dry heave.

“Yes?” He rolls his eyes, tightening his grip on her.

“EDI?” He’s not sure why he looks up as he asks, “Can you have Chakwas meet us in Shepard’s cabin?”

“Certainly, Major.” Kaidan doesn’t wait for the AI’s succinct response before moving to the elevator.

“Just keep your eyes closed.” He murmurs to Shepard, feeling her shaking increase. He knows that shutting her eyes is not helping the dizziness, but the lights of the cargo bay are bright and will probably make her feel worse. Kaidan tries not to move too fast, but has to get her to the comfort of her room as soon as possible.

They get to the elevator quickly and she sways again. He can feel her increased body temperature and notices her undershirt is soaked with sweat. She is still shaking and he prays she can make it to her bathroom before she throws up. The jolt and movement of the elevator does nothing to help and he sees her force down her gag reflex.

Chakwas is already there by the time they make it to Shepard’s cabin. The doctor has a cart full of the medical necessities, standing at attention by the fish tank. Upon reaching her quarters, Shepard disentangles herself from Kaidan and stumbles to the bathroom, immediately retching into the toilet. Kaidan follows and holds her hair back from her face, ignoring any indignity she may feel.

“EDI, please dim the lights.” He requests as loud as he allows himself. The lights fade considerably and change from their typical harsh blue to a warmer, incandescent light. Kaidan looks over at Chakwas, who has followed them to the outside of the bathroom, her body scanner in hand.

“A migraine,” He says and the doctor nods, scanning Shepard as she gives another heave into the toilet.

“Mild decompression sickness,” She agrees, reading the scans, “Nothing wrong otherwise.”

Shepard finishes vomiting, flushes, but stays leaning over the toilet. Safe for now, Kaidan follows Chakwas to her medical cart.

“I’ll leave this for you, Major. You’re more than capable of treating a migraine,” Chakwas gives him a wry smile and he nods, “Fluids, ice packs, pain killers – if she can stomach them.”

The doctor takes her leave and he begins removing his own armor, leaving it in a neat pile by the door. He gives Shepard a few more moments to collect herself before he returns to the bathroom. She is still in the same position, crouched on the floor, shaking, leaning her forehead on the closed lid of the toilet. He has never seen the commander so vulnerable, so _human_, and he almost smiles, but remembers the excruciating pain she is dealing with.

“Come on, to bed.” He says softly, pulling her up. She goes willingly, and allows him to herd her to her bed. She sits and he finishes undressing her, leaving her in her underwear and under shirt. Cora has the strength to remove her bra and groans in satisfaction when she unclasps it. He rolls his eyes and goes to the medical cart to retrieve cold water and two ice packs. By the time he returns, she has managed to crawl under the bedsheets and prop herself up on several pillows.

He places the first ice pack underneath her neck and then the other over her eyes. She gives another groan – of both relief and pain.

“Clawing my eyes out would feel better than this,” She says roughly and he knows what she means. He’s also had migraines where it felt like the only relief of the pressure would be to remove his eyes with a melon baller, “How do you deal with this all the time?”

Kaidan’s mouth half curls to a sardonic smile she can’t see. He sighs and crosses his arms over his chest.

“Sometimes barely,” He admits, “But mostly this way.” She nods, understanding.

“You need to sleep, Cora.” Kaidan urges gently. He leans down and kisses the top of her head, caressing her hair. She catches his hand with more strength than he thought she had.

“Stay?” She asks and he sighs. She needs to rest, but he is afraid of leaving her alone.

“Okay,” He says quietly and goes around to the other side of the bed to climb in. He leaves space between them, afraid to jostle her, but she reaches between them and takes his hand. The lights in the room dim almost completely as they settle in. He hears her breathing begin to even out and he rubs his thumb across the back of her hand.

“Please don’t ever do that again.” Kaidan whispers, the choking panic he’d kept down while they were fighting Reapers, surging back tenfold. She’d jumped into that diving mech without any reservations and his heart rate doubled until she broke the surface again. Then, she’d flopped out onto the deck, lifeless, amidst a brute battle, and he thought his heart had stopped altogether. If this war didn’t kill, certainly being in love with Cora Shepard would.

“I can’t promise that.” He didn’t know she’d heard him, much less that she’d been awake. He screwed his eyes shut against the darkness, focusing on the way her hand felt in his as he tried to ignore the truth in her words.

Shepard was right: she couldn’t guarantee that she wouldn’t run headfirst into danger. After all, she did that on a daily basis. Both of them did, really. And neither could afford the luxury of staying safe for the peace of mind of the other. He couldn’t promise her the same thing, either.

They laid side by side in the darkness, holding onto each other for as long as they could. And they’d awaken the next day to face another evil.


End file.
